At 2 weeks old Sally Stoermer was adopted and moved to Owensboro, where she eventually graduated high school, obtained multiple degrees, gained employment, and raised a family. All her stars seemed to align until she was met by a whirlwind of challenges in 2019, changing her life drastically.
Doctors uncovered eight tumors on Stoermer’s brain and linked them directly to genetics. Out of concern for her daughters, she embarked on a journey to locate her biological parents while personally battling the recently discovered health issues.
Local physicians initially thought the tumors were cancerous due to the substantial amount on her brain, but a full-body scan unveiled that wasn’t the case. The tumors were diagnosed as meningiomas, a non-cancerous tumor, prompting Stoermer to seek advice from a specialist at John Hopkins Hospital in Maryland.
“Some of the tumors were inoperable because they had veins running through them and ordered regular MRIs,” she said. “They told me they were genetic and asked me if I knew anything about my family.”
Stoermer was always curious about her biological parents, but the diagnosis shifted her way of thinking.
“Discovering that the tumors were genetic shifted the diagnosis from a personal issue to a family medical issue,” she said. “I had always wanted to know about my family, but typically fear of rejection keeps you from reaching out. I always told myself that I had felt rejection before; why would I want to experience it again.”
Fear of being rejected was soon an afterthought, as her daughters’ well-being shifted to Stoermer’s number one priority. Stoermer quickly hired private detective Lisa Townsend, The Adoption Specialist out of California, who located her biological mother within a day.
Stoermer discovered that her grandmother had the tumors, though not as many. She also uncovered that her sister Teri had a brain tumor but that it wasn’t the same type and that she had since passed away.
Stoermer met her biological brother Sonny the following weekend, then her biological mother and sister the ensuing week. Her mother informed her of her birth father’s name, and Stoermer sent Townsend on a journey to find him, only to discover that he had passed away six months prior.
Townsend shared that Stoermer had one sister who had died and two brothers who were still living on her father’s side.
“I told her just to pick one brother and call him,” Stoermer said. “She picked Curtis and called him. He was just having a normal day at work when he received the phone call that a family member was trying to locate their family and wondered if he would be willing to speak to them.”
After receiving the call, Stoermer said Curtis called one of his aunts, who initially informed him that it was likely a scam. Unsettled, Curtis did some further digging. He then contacted another aunt who confirmed the story, uncovering the truth: he had another sister.
“Curtis couldn’t believe this was happening and wanted to come to visit immediately,” Stoermer said. “We really connected and thought it was wild, but it was meant to be.”
That was in March 2020, and the onset of the pandemic initially delayed the meeting to later that summer. Stoermer has since made the acquaintance of her other biological brother, as well as the children and grandchildren of her biological sister Keri who recently passed away.
Before the journey to find her biological family began, Stoermer obtained an Associate’s Degree in Nursing from Kentucky Wesleyan College before receiving her Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees from Western Kentucky University. She dedicated 25 years – most recently as an administrator – to Owensboro Health Regional Hospital before retiring in 2017 to pursue her dream of becoming a life and leadership coach.
Always striving to better herself, she obtained another master’s degree in organizational communication to accompany various certifications. She was attending an 18-day seminar in California when she had her first indication that something wasn’t right with her health.
“My husband flew out to see me, and all of a sudden that night, I couldn’t talk; words weren’t coming out the way they were supposed to,” Stoermer said. “After waking up several hours later, I thought it was a stroke, but since it was well past the window to receive medical treatment for a stroke, I waited until I got home to see a physician.”
Stoermer believes herself fortunate to discover that the tumors were not cancerous. While the five remaining tumors continue to plague her daily life, she considers the experiences that accompanied the diagnosis a blessing.
She said there is a dated misconception that adoption is a bad thing.
“In today’s society, it’s okay,” she said, referring to adoption. “We need to get out out of the mindset that it’s a bad thing because it makes adoptees feel like it is. We are well past the decades of shaming and blaming in relation to young girls getting pregnant.”
She said there are multiple DNA tests available, and more and more people are finding out that they have relatives out there.
“I know there is a chance that the outcome could be negative, but it’s worth the gamble,” she said. “Answers give you transparency and truth to move forward.
Stoermer will continue her efforts as a life coach, using her personal experiences to shape her coaching philosophy. Her message to others is simple.
“I want people not to let fear stand in their way,” Stoermer said. “I spent my whole life feeling like an outsider, wondering ‘what if.’ My courage came from where I was with my health. I only wish I had the courage to tell people to search for answers earlier. Don’t think something is wrong; go do your search. We let fear stop us when there’s really nothing there.”
Stoermer said she is forever grateful for the adopted parents who raised her to be a person who truly cares for others.
