Gary Eldridge began using drugs when he was 13; until he was 41 he was an addict. Now, the father of three is more than two years sober and is striving to be his best. As Father’s Day approaches, he reflected on his journey through life.
On April 2, 2017, Eldridge was arrested for assault on a police officer, trafficking methamphetamine, resisting arrest, driving under the influence, carrying a concealed deadly weapon and numerous traffic charges.
“When I was arrested I blacked out — it was bad,” he said. “I don’t remember anything they said I did.”
That arrest is what brought him to the Boulware Mission, a men’s shelter that works with displaced individuals to become self-sufficient through education, treatment and other services.
Eldridge said being at the mission helped turn his life around and helped him become not only a better member of society but a better father.
“The mission gave me the tools to get my life back,” he said. “Before now I never had a savings account. I could never budget my money. I would just spend it as quick as I got it. Now I’ve got close to $3,000 in savings. That’s more than I’ve ever had.”
Eldridge said it’s hard to explain everything that the mission has done for him.
“I wouldn’t be here today — I would be in prison, with the charges I’ve got, the mistakes and bad decisions I’ve made, by all rights I shouldn’t be here right now,” he said.
After turning his life around, Eldridge said every day is a blessing and he is thankful to be on the other side of the bad times.
Even though he never left his children during his reckless years, Eldridge said being on drugs made his relationships with them difficult. Now, he’s hoping to be the best father to his two sons and daughter.
His daughter is 17 years old, while his boys are 24 years old and 18 months old. Eldridge is traveling to North Carolina to see his oldest son next month for the first time in years.
“Fatherhood means being there when they need you and having them look up to you,” he said. “It’s nice to know my daughter is proud of me. All she knew me as was an addict dad — I was there, but now I am really there. Anytime she needs me I am there to talk to her — same goes for my son.
“The little one won’t ever know that dad — the person I was then. He’ll just know the person I am today. It makes me feel so proud.”
Part of his recovery and journey into clean living was giving back to the Boulware Mission. Eldridge works there part-time and shares his story with the other residents.
“They just need someone to talk to,” he said. “A lot of these guys are dads, too. I feel like I am kind of a father figure to some of them. I’ve been clean for more than two years and I feel like if they see me and know that I was able to get clean, then they can, too. I like to think it gives them something to strive for.”
After getting sober, Eldridge said not only has his relationship with his kids improved but so has the one with his father.
“I’ve always been totally honest with my dad about everything,” he said. “My dad’s health is bad and that hurts me. I love him and he loves me.”
Throughout his life, Eldridge said he dad has helped him out. Now he wants to return the favor.
“I’ll drive out to my dad’s place to help with things around the house,” Eldridge said. “He’ll always ask ‘what do I owe you?’ I try to tell him, ‘dad, you don’t owe me anything’. I can’t take money from him. I’m too prideful to ask for his help anymore. I’m 44, I shouldn’t need my dad’s help. I should go do it myself.”
Eldridge wants addicts to know it’s never too late to change their lives.
“For roughly 25-30 years I was doing nothing but running and being reckless,” he said. “Then one day I was just ready to change. Anything was better than what I was doing. Luckily I found my way to Boulware. Not everybody is ready, but when they are, hopefully, they can find their groove or a facility that can help them see who they can be.”
