Throughout my life — marked by poverty, dysfunction, substance use, homelessness, and mental health struggles — one truth became evident: I had fallen into generational patterns that shaped my thinking, habits, morals, values, self-esteem, and beliefs. I couldn’t control the circumstances of my birth or blame those who raised me; they were products of their own generational influences. I grew up believing that my environment was normal, just as my parents thought their upbringing was standard.
Looking back, I realize that the behaviors and situations I encountered — drug use, dishonesty, emotional and verbal abuse, financial insecurity, and a lack of education — seemed normal because they were normalized by those around me. Food, shelter, and basic comforts were present, but these were overshadowed by dysfunctions I couldn’t fully understand as a child. The very issues that seemed acceptable were shaping me and setting me up for future challenges.
It wasn’t until 2011, when I faced a profound desire to live rather than succumb to despair, that I began to recognize the generational barriers holding me back. To create a better life, I had to unlearn my old ways and embrace a new way of living. I started to see that my “normal” was merely a reflection of what those before me had considered normal. They did their best with what they had, but were constrained by their own generational influences. Most people don’t question their environment because it is all they have known.
Breaking free from these generational patterns requires a conscious effort to change. It involves a willingness to let go of old habits, a commitment to self-awareness and education, and the support of resources and a network. People seeking change — whether through shelters, treatment centers, or other support systems — face a range of challenges influenced by their generational history. These organizations play a crucial role in helping individuals recover, heal, and start anew.
Generations shape our society profoundly. What we do today impacts future generations. Homelessness is not a problem but an experience — a phase that varies in length depending on personal circumstances. Even if everyone were housed today, lasting stability requires addressing underlying barriers. These barriers cannot be resolved while individuals remain in constant survival mode, driven by high cortisol levels from stress.
We are fortunate to have a community rich in resources, leaders, and caring individuals dedicated to helping others. Breaking generational cycles requires time, tools, grace, empathy, and compassion. We cannot fully understand someone else’s “normal,” but we can strive to create positive change. By instilling positive values and behaviors in our own lives, we influence future generations positively.
My own children have benefited from my decision to break away from the generational patterns of the past. They see a different path — one involving education, stable employment, and open, honest communication. They are spared the difficulties I faced and are instead provided with opportunities I never had.
I challenge each reader to consider their role in changing the narrative. What can you do to improve the lives of future generations? How has your own upbringing influenced you, both positively and negatively? Will you contribute to change by supporting shelters and community agencies? Can you identify how a single change in the previous generation might have altered your own path?
Our actions today set the tone for the next generation. By addressing and breaking generational barriers, we pave the way for a better future.
“The legacy of one generation is the foundation of the next.” — G. H. Lewis
This quote highlights how the actions, values, and circumstances of one generation profoundly impact the lives and experiences of the next. I have witnessed firsthand how Daniel Pitino, St. Benedict’s Shelter, other shelters, and our treatment providers are making a generational impact within those they serve.
Written by
Harry E. Pedigo, MSSW, MHFAI, CENL
Executive Director
St. Benedict’s and Daniel Pitino Shelters
