Community Column: Navigating change — a teen’s experience of homelessness

October 13, 2024 | 12:06 am

Updated October 11, 2024 | 4:12 pm

When families find themselves needing the Pitino Shelter, they are greeted with a safe, warm, and clean place to call home. Our mission is to meet each family where they are — with grace, love, and compassion. While we often focus on the parents, recognizing that they must put in the work necessary to exit the shelter successfully, it’s equally important to understand the unique needs of the children who are experiencing this transition.

For a child, the experience of losing their home can be deeply traumatic, and it varies significantly depending on their age and understanding of the world around them. A 3- or 4-year-old might view homelessness as an adventure, excited by the novelty of new surroundings and the presence of their family. However, their understanding is limited, and they may not grasp the implications of their situation. Their emotional response might manifest in play, where they process their feelings in ways that reflect both excitement and confusion.

Conversely, for older children and teenagers, the impact of homelessness can be overwhelmingly painful. Take, for example, Jane, a 13-year-old girl who was once a confident student riding the bus home. She now finds herself on a bus headed to a homeless shelter, feeling as if she has lost all control over her life. The trauma associated with losing her home and being thrust into a new environment can trigger feelings of anger, sadness, and isolation.

The emotional weight of such a change is immense. Many children experience a profound sense of loss — loss of security, familiarity, and the ability to control their environment. This loss can lead to anxiety, depression, and a feeling of helplessness. Adolescents are navigating the tumultuous waters of identity formation, and homelessness can add layers of complexity to their self-image. They may feel embarrassed about their living situation, leading to shame that can isolate them from peers and hinder their social development.

This is where the shelter plays a crucial role. At the Pitino Shelter, we strive to provide a sense of safety and stability. When children arrive, they find a consistent environment that helps restore some normalcy in their lives. This sanctuary allows them to focus on healing and rebuilding, away from the uncertainties and dangers they may have faced before. Knowing that they have a secure place to sleep and access to meals can significantly alleviate the anxiety that often accompanies homelessness.

In school, the stigma of homelessness can be particularly harsh. Children often face bullying and exclusion from their peers, which can exacerbate feelings of isolation. Jane, the 13-year-old girl living in a shelter, may struggle with fitting in, fearing judgment from classmates who don’t understand her situation. The constant worry about being different, combined with the pressure to perform academically and socially, can be overwhelming. She may find it hard to concentrate in class or participate in extracurricular activities, further alienating her from her peers.

The trauma of homelessness can also disrupt a child’s sense of routine and stability. Children thrive on predictability, and when that is taken away, it can lead to behavioral issues and difficulty forming healthy relationships. They may act out in school or become withdrawn, struggling to express their feelings about their circumstances. Younger children might have nightmares or anxiety about sleeping in an unfamiliar place, while teenagers may resort to risky behaviors to cope with their pain.

At the Pitino Shelter, we strive to be sensitive to these emotional, psychological, and social needs. We recognize that children are not just passive participants in their families’ challenges — they are deeply affected by what is happening around them. They may be losing friends, feeling isolated, and trying to cope with the expectations of going to school, maintaining good grades, and appearing “normal” despite their circumstances. We work diligently to provide them with the resources and support they need to address these challenges.

Our programs focus on creating an environment that nurtures resilience and helps children process their experiences. We offer counseling, social activities, and educational support to help them regain a sense of stability and hope. We aim to give them the tools to express their feelings and rebuild their confidence, allowing them to navigate their new reality with a sense of agency.

Every child’s experience at the shelter is unique, and while we support the parents in their journey, we also want to ensure that each child feels seen, heard, and valued. At the Pitino Shelter, we believe that every family, including the children within them, deserves a chance to thrive.

In closing, as we work to support children and families experiencing homelessness, it is vital to remember our role in educating all children about empathy and understanding. By fostering a culture of kindness and awareness in our schools and communities, we can help children learn to be sensitive to the struggles others may face. Teaching them about homelessness and encouraging conversations about compassion will empower them to be allies and support their peers, creating a more inclusive environment for everyone. Together, we can shape a generation that understands and respects the challenges faced by others, ultimately building a stronger, more empathetic community for all.

Your support can make a profound difference. We cannot do this alone. Join us in our mission to uplift families and children at the Pitino Shelter, ensuring that no child feels alone in their struggle. Please consider making an online donation today and help us continue our mission of love, compassion, and empowerment for families at the Pitino Shelter. Together, we can pave the way for a brighter future for every child in our community.

Harry E. Pedigo, MSSW, MHFAI, CENM

Executive Director 

Daniel Pitino & St. Benedicts Shelters

October 13, 2024 | 12:06 am

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